We all know the feeling we get — morning, early afternoon, or very late at night — when it’s time to go to the P.O.D. for a snack.
But what snack should you get? The P.O.D. has so many options that oftentimes students have a hard time narrowing down to one delectable treat.
Well, that’s why the Herald assigned me to this story, so that I can tell you in all my snacking credibility which snacks you should buy with your valuable meal plan dollars, and which ones you should avoid.
Worst Option #1: Regular Chex Mix
I don’t think this needs any explanation to be honest, and if you disagree that it’s objectively a bad snack then you should click off of this article immediately, because I don’t want you here.
If the Guiness Book of World Records had a category for blandest and driest foods, it would be a running competition between regular Chex Mix and literal Civil War era hardtack.
The sad part is that Chex Mix would still probably win.
Worst Option #2: Raisin Bran Cereal Cup
Pack it up, Grandpa.
Seriously, if you claim that your favorite cereal is Raisin Bran, I simply don’t believe you.
The cereal options in this world are too broad for there to be a realistic Raisin Bran audience, and it definitely doesn’t belong on a college campus.
In fact, if a single student reading this thinks that Raisin Bran is actually a good cereal option, then I will personally research the technology to build a time machine and send you to the past, because you were definitely born in the wrong generation.
Worst Option #3: Regular Lays Potato Chips
I know I’m going to get flaque for this one, but hear me out.
Humanity has come way too far for regular Lays potato chips to be your first option.
Think about all the wars we have fought, technological advancements we have made, and generations we have lived through before you unironically go to the store with the sole purpose of getting regular Lays potato chips.
I am not exaggerating when I say that you are spitting in the face of humanity with your unbelievably boring palate.
Just save us all from the heartache and settle for sour cream and onion.
Best Option #1: Welch’s Fruit Snacks
A classic snack with absurd sentimental value.
If any of you were graced with the ability to eat these little guys after elementary school recess, your childhood was objectively top-tier.
I urge anyone reading this to head over to the P.O.D. right now, grab a bag of these, and experience the nostalgic bliss in all of Welch’s fruity and gummy glory.
I can assure you, it is a decision that you will not regret making.
Best Option #2: Lunchables
I don’t think I can truly convey how excited I was when I saw these at the P.O.D. for the first time.
Similar to the Welch’s entry, Lunchables have an unmatched level of nostalgia to them, and I’m sorry if you don’t feel the same way.
I know that Lunchables get a lot of hate from the grown population nowadays, and all I have to say is that you must first remove your ego before partaking in this snack
Let go of the “I’m too old” stigma and make yourself a tiny pizza or turkey and cheese sandwich. There is no shame in it.
Also shoutout to capri suns, because those will always be the bomb.
Best Option #3: Nature Valley Peanut Bar
I had to include a healthy option, because snacks aren’t good just because they’re bad for you.
These bars have a great amount of protein, and the peanut butter caked to the bottom of them is absolutely wonderful.
I would eat one of these after every swim practice in high school, and it always was a great way to cap off a hard workout.
So head down to the Preston center with one of these in your bag and have yourself a wonderfully productive and healthy time.
Honorable Mention: Snack Factory Buffalo Pretzel Crisps
These flat pretzels seasoned in Buffalo flavoring are definitely something to write home about.
These crisps have the perfect balance of pretzel and buffalo, it’s almost as if all the enemies in the world came together and held hands in unity.
I have probably bought out the P.O.D.’s stock of these multiple times, but if you can beat me to getting a bag of them then you definitely should.
Once they are in your possession, I can assure you that you will eat them quicker than the time it takes the university to file a lawsuit against us.
Shane Stryker can be reached at [email protected] Follow him on Twitter @shanestryker.