Join the Herald on the red carpet for the Marsupial awards
May 3, 2017
Another chapter of life slowly comes to a close here on the Hill. As the semester slowly begins to wrap up, a strange mixture of panic and delight can be felt.
If you listen closely to the wind you can hear the faint whispers of those who came before us offering words of encouragement. “You can do it,” the voices say. “I believe in you,” they utter on the winds. “You probably shouldn’t take so many shots before your final in the morning,” they say with a tinge of concern in their voice.
Per Herald tradition, our last paper of the spring semester means it’s time for us to look back at this semester on the Hill and celebrate our favorite moments. Join us, friends, on the red carpet as we hand out the Marsupial Awards.
Leaving WKU is never easy, or inexpensive, and no one knows that more than President Gary Ransdell. The Bon Voyage Award goes to Ransdell in the hopes he enjoys his newfound position as president and CEO of Semester at Sea. He’s steered WKU through some harsh waters and, like any good captain, is electing to jump overboard before we hit another rough patch.
We give the Student Government Association the Talkin’ Bout My Reparations Award for attempting to start a needed conversation about hurdles faced by black students in higher education, only to not know what the conversation would later come to entail.
The entire city of Bowling Green receives the Stayin Alive Award for surviving the notorious #BowlingGreenMassacre. The massacre was a true testament to the strength of the people of Bowling Green, and a testament to how surreal everything is now. We will never, never forget.
The Board of Regents is the proud recipient of the See No President, Speak No President, Hear no President Award for doing a completely closed door search for WKU’s next president. Heaven forbid we actually want to know who our president is going to be before we wake up the next day with a new one.
For getting into a fight with members of Pi Kappa Alpha, we give members of the WKU football team the Flag On The Play Award. On the bright side, this probably won’t hinder your chances of getting drafted in the future.
Tim Caboni is the proud recipient of the New Kid On The Block Award for becoming WKU’s president-elect. We can’t wait to see how much money the university will spend on bow ties for every incoming student. Maybe they’ll even start to become fashionable again.
To Aramark Food Service we give the A Fee By Any Other Name Would Smell As Sweet Award for putting an extra $75 onto our student bills for the students choosing to not opt into meal plans by a company that serves correctional facilities.
Members of the Bowling Green Fairness Campaign get the Pass Me The Megaphone Award for continuing to fight the good fight and get Bowling Green city government to adopt a fairness ordinance.
The university administration deservedly wins the Successive Suers Award. Between the Herald, the Kernel, the attorney general and the Kentucky Retirement System, we think you’ve earned it. Hope no one minds the fees you all rack up for legal representation, who knows what else that money could be going towards.
To the Ford Explorer that crash landed onto the steps of Cravens Library, we hope you’ve had your moment of wreck-ignition. We bestow to you the Not-All-Terrain Award. Also, we hope your book wasn’t too overdue.
We give the students, faculty and staff of WKU the Blindsided Award for the round of budget cuts which are likely coming after finals week. What, you thought that $6 million budget shortfall for this year was the biggest of our worries?
To Deborah Wilkins, we give the THe anual herald award award for diligently THe anual herald award.
Everyone can expect their award in three to five business days, overnight shipping costs extra and gift wrapping is not available. See you all next semester.