Paul and His Cat – Let us help you: Introducing Paul and His Cat

Paul and his cat

Paul and His Cat

If you’re reading this, you’ve found the Herald’s best new advice column.

You might have read this column on your way to class. You might be sitting there now, burying your face in your phone as a distraction from your racist classmate. You know, the one decked out in Confederate flags and bald eagles who keeps complaining about how rough white men have it.

You might be reading this column in your dorm. Your roommate might be pretending not to know where your expensive almond butter went, but you might have spotted it, as you peer over your laptop, tucked into a pile of trash under that thief’s bed.

You might even be reading these words in your own bed, exhausted by both the physical demands of the naked stranger lying beside you and the mental olympics your brain is performing to pretend they love you.

If you’re reading this, you are probably a mess. You definitely need help.

Allow us to introduce ourselves.

Paul: Hey y’all! I’m so excited to hear all about your screwed-up lives. I’m sitting here with my purring co-columnist right now, and we’re ready to pounce.

Paul’s Cat: I have no desire to help anyone reading this.

Paul: Starting next week, we will be answering questions in an advice column each Thursday in the Herald. We want to help wrangle you out of whatever crazy, awful situation you worked your way into.

We know college sucks sometimes. We know that all four, five or even six years you spend on the Hill will be full of more treachery and backstabbing than a season of “Real Housewives.” We know the men’s basketball team is causing a lot of heartache this season.

Luckily, we also know how to pass judgement. Er, I mean help.

Paul’s Cat: And we know all you kitty-cats out there are hopeless. Meow, meow.

Want to have your problem solved by Paul and his cat? Submit your questions on this form. If published, letters may be edited for space or clarity.