10 worst regulars at the Preston Center

Emily Little/HERALD

Tanner Cole

10. Too Swole 

It’s hard not to notice these gargantuan embarrassments with arms as large as their egos. They’re commonly spotted cutting lines of protein powder, harassing gym newbies and struggling to fit through doors. 

9. Walk-Abouts 

They make sure you see them, but it’s hard to tell what else they accomplish. These constant roamers walk up and down the aisles of weights craving attention and never lifting a pound. Worse still is when they find their way onto the track where they begin walking laps in the running lanes. 

8. Sweaty Swampers

They’ve taken hydration to the next level. These walking perspiration pits sweat enough for two, and they usually leave their puddles behind for that second person to find.

7. Weight Slammers

Their set just finished and the whole room knows it. These folks aren’t coming to Preston for the workout. Rather, they’re trying to dig deep below the surface of WKU using only barbells as tools.

6. New Year’s Warriors

Come spring semester Preston will encounter a wave of newcomers. They don’t know what they’re doing, but they have all the determination in the world for now. 

5. Naked People

Just beyond the desk and into the locker room lays an obscene land of flagrant nudity. They wave, worm and wiggle their way to disturbing your routine.

4. NBA All-stars 

The court-one competitors play basketball. They throw balls through hoops. They use their fingertips to bounce basketballs. Can you see them there? They’re playing basketball.

3. Weight Room Pick-up Artists

Most people are trying to get fit, but these few are looking for love. What better time to proposition strangers than between sets? Watch out when they wear their good gym shorts – stone, cold studs.

2. Screamers

These gym rats actually pose a bit of a health hazard at Preston. It can be difficult to tell if all is going normally or if they’re experiencing total heart failure every few seconds.

1. Mirror Monsters

Their thick is swollen, and they’ve taken to the mirror. Flexing is more than an activity – it’s an art form. Most feel weak to the knees upon seeing their majestic might quivering in the mirror. True lust can be seen in their eyes and their selfies.