Get your steel-toed boots ready, everyone. I’m about to step on some toes.
If you’re not Greek, please stick around for this one all the same. The parties involved may have Greek letters, but the principle applies to everyone.
Every year, Homecoming pairings come out, and there are winners and losers.
Basically, there are three scenarios.
I call the first one, “The Beauty and the Beast.”
This is where the members of a sorority are distraught with the fraternity they’re with because they’re either awkward or jerks, but the fraternity is elated to be with “the pretty ones.”
The second is aptly called “Mission Impossible.”
This is the pairing where the fraternity feels like it has been slighted because it wound up with the girls they think are ugly and fat.
Last, we have “The Lucky Ones.” Those fortunate souls that feel like their standard of beauty and fun have been met by their pairing.
Every year after the pairings are announced, without fail, some groups take to Twitter complaining about the end of the world approaching, as they have to hang out with the ugly sorority or awkward fraternity.
Some, being a tad more intelligent, just complain to their fraternity brothers or sorority sisters.
But all this week, I’ve witnessed the harshness this system creates and the incredible pain this kind of judgment brings.
That’s right. I see you, fraternities, throwing your open parties as if the girls you’re with are too ugly to bear a whole week’s worth of social mixing.
I see you, sororities, who would rather go to the open parties of those fraternities I’ve just mentioned in order to avoid those lame nerds or jerks.
And I see you, “The Lucky Ones,” smug because your high social breed may continue through the week.
I’m not saying this about any one fraternity or sorority in particular.
In fact, I would argue this happens in every fraternity and sorority because this system has the same root problem: vanity.
And I’m as guilty of falling into one of these categories through my four years as anyone, so please don’t think of me as a judge or jury.
I’m just a guy who can’t stand the system any longer.
Can we all just be honest enough to admit that this exists?
And what’s worse, this is where society is on the whole. We’re bombarded with this way of thinking about people in terms of how they appear.
If someone doesn’t benefit your status, they aren’t worth your time.
“The Big Bang Theory” is the definition of “Beauty and the Beast.” The entire humor and tension of the show revolves around the fact that the nerd shouldn’t be trying to date the hot girl.
“Mission Impossible” warrants its name for its lack of representation in pop culture. It is the exact opposite of shows like “Everybody Loves Raymond,” “According to Jim” and “King of Queens.”
That’s why fraternities feel so entitled to mix with “the pretty sorority.”
“The Bachelor” is an entire reality series devoted to the notion that pretty people with high status should be steered away from the less desirables of society. If you get enough of them in the same room, they will breed in mutual self-interest.
If that isn’t “The Lucky Ones,” I don’t know what is.
There’s something broken about this picture, whether we’re too arrogant to see it or not.
Good news is, regardless of what category you’re in, you’ve still got two days to make it right.