Most people may not know where the name came from, but regardless, the annual Marsupial Awards are here and we on the Herald editorial board are not going to miss the chance to give out the honors.
So without further adieu:
•Economics professor Brian Strow will receive the Grade Book Award for his effort to implement a plus/minus grading plan at Western. He will also receive a new grade book and a red pen so he can put pluses and minuses on his students’ grades to his heart’s delight.
•With all the bickering and fighting, the members of the General Assembly have provided Kentuckians with their own soap opera. So we would like to give them the Susan Lucci Award. Not only is there so much drama, but like Lucci, they can’t seem to achieve their goal -passing a budget – after multiple tries either.
•For the girls who have decided to wear the “WKU Butt Shorts,” we hope you’ll enjoy the Sir Mix-A-Lot Award. If you like it, go ahead. We salute your shorts.
•Speaking of flaunting, Beau Mehdi Jarfi took flaunting a little too far. Jarfi, a Cincinnati senior, streaked at a Western football game Aug. 28. We would like to present Jarfi the Extreme Exhibitionist Award complete with a pair of new “WKU Butt Shorts.” Some coverage is better than nothing.
•Thanks to former Student Government Association President John Bradley, the organization has gotten its name out on campus, tackled major issues such as plus/minus grading and tuition hikes and listened to students. For some of the past SGA organizations, that would’ve taken years to do. So we feel that Bradley is a worthy recipient of the Extreme Makeover Award for his role in the transformation.
•With Miss Basketball Crystal Kelly and several excellent senior players on the roster, we think the Lady Toppers will have a good chance of going to the Big Dance next year. For good luck, here’s the Crystal Slipper Award.
•Some of us at the editorial board remember when the directional halls were dirty, scary and not air conditioned. But thanks to dorm construction the renovated dorms now get The Best Western Award because as one McLean Hall resident said, “It’s like living in a hotel!”
•Sometimes it’s good to give awards to ourselves. So for us and the rest of the Herald staff, we would like to give the Trading Spaces Award. We would like to trade spaces with Cornelius Martin and his decked out Regents Room. Let’s put it this way – the Regents Room, which is located in Mass Media and Technology Hall, is the Champagne Room, and our office is the Hootch Tub. We haven’t had new carpet since the 1970s.
•And to Lindsay Sainlar, our columnist, The Golden Ear Muff Award to muffle all those people who are complaining. Unfortunately, it will muffle those people who give compliments, too.
•This final award will be given at a later time and only if the recipient is found guilty:
To SGA president-elect Nick Todd, The Jared Fogel Award. This was a no-brainer after examining the SGA Aramark account.
Well, that’s the end of the show. Some of you are probably disappointed that you didn’t get an award this year. Well, here’s some advice. Do something stupid or extremely good in 2005, and perhaps you’ll have a chance to be mentioned in next year’s Marsupial’s Awards.
Until then, be sure to congratulate – or perhaps pity – this year’s winners.
This editorial represents the majority opinion of the Herald’s 9-member board of student editors.