Women shouldn’t wear ‘WKU butt shorts’

Kevin Jackson

Picture this: I’m strolling through the Garrett Food Court when, out of the corner of my eye, I notice a girl. This is not just any girl; she is beautiful and perfect in every way. Her hair is like silk and her skin has a nice golden tan.

All of a sudden, our eyes meet and I’m drawn like a magnet toward her. I make my way across the floor, never taking my eyes off hers. She ruffles her hair as I draw nearer, strengthening my attraction. Finally I arrive at her table.

We are alone. I introduce myself, and she introduces herself. I walk to her side of the table to begin what I hope to be the first conversation of many.

When I come face to face with her and we begin talking, my eyes wander – as they do when I am talking to anyone, for I cannot maintain eye contact because of my overwhelming insecurities – and I begin to “check” her out. My eyes make it to her lower half and I am startled. Panicking, I quickly make up some excuse and exit Garrett.

What could I have seen that shocked me so severely? What could have made me stop talking to such a lovely creature? I will tell you what I saw; it’s what is all over our campus, plaguing the bodies of many young women, and the eyes of so many young men. I saw buttocks.

You know – butt, rump, backside, “baby got back” and “now that’s a fine piece.” I should not have been surprised, for it is all over the place when springtime rolls around. It seems when the sun shines, so does the moon.

For clarification, the girl did have clothes on; she was not naked, but darn near close. She sported WKU shorts. So what is wrong with supporting the Toppers?

There is nothing wrong with supporting one’s school. However, I really don’t think she had school spirit in mind when she selected these particular shorts to wear.

For one, there really is not much room on the shorts to display Western’s logo, and for that reason the shorts don’t do much advertising for the school. Secondly, she probably had the mindset to show something else off that day – her tushy.

What am I talking about? Having a girl dress scarcely is awesome, right? Ninety-five percent of the hormone-driven, lower-waist-thinking guys would say, with exceedingly great enthusiasm, “Yes, Yes, Yes.”

However, this writer doesn’t want to see butt when I shouldn’t be seeing butt. Seeing butt makes me think not-so-good, lustful thoughts that we as men shouldn’t think. I don’t think it is fair for girls to wear such skimpy clothing just to turn a few sex-craved guys’ heads.

(Notice I did not say “men” when referring to the aforementioned males.)

How do we solve this problem of skimpiness? First of all, we need to weed out the young ladies who should not be wearing them in the first place. I am not saying that some girls should be wearing them, but that some girls really shouldn’t be wearing them.

These girls are the ones that have more flesh hanging out than there is fabric in the shorts. I am in no way saying that I dislike larger people. I have many friends who are overweight. Rules of common courtesy suggest that larger people should not wear smaller clothes.

But most of the young ladies that wear revealing clothing would be attractive with an Eskimo suit on for Pete’s sake. I just do not understand why these girls think that they have to show some cheek to get attention. I guess the way to make the rest of the girls stop wearing these clothes is to encourage them by telling them how pretty they are without the butt broadcasters. They should be told things like: “Hey baby, you are fine” or “Girl, did you get hurt when you fell from heaven?!”

Ladies please dress accordingly. Keep your butts in your pants and we will all live blissfully. I mean, what would you do if the weather suddenly turned bitter cold and your butt cheeks froze and fell off? I mean, what would you sit on?

Kevin Jackson is a sophomore chemistry and biology major from Auburn.

This commentary does not reflect the view of Western or its administration.