Herald blows

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Obviously not for publication


It’s on this day that past Herald staffers like to write and congratulate the remaining crew on a fantastic first issue. Well, screw that.

As it appears on my computer, today’s paper looks like dick. And it reads worse. Two freaking news editors can’t prevent the stories from reeking, particularly Shawntaye’s of course. I want Fowler to tell me why the entrance to a professor’s office is accessed through the inside of a fully stocked closet. No features section, which demonstrates that Hightower isn’t doing a damn thing. And the sports stories were of the quality to be expected from a first-time sports editor with no identifiable talents anyway. I never read editorials, but since I’m sure Mai is reading this, I’m confident that her editorial sucked as well.

Brandy, I feel sorry for you yet again. What a bunch of losers you must deal with. I knew things would fall to shit when I left, but I never imagined this. I’m saddened — nay, ashamed — to be a former employee of this once-proud publication. Eat me, all of you.

Hahahahahaha. Just kidding, babes. I actually looked at nothing but the front of the web page and the pdf of the front page. It all looked perfectly fine, with the exception of anything that Joe Lord was involved in. Have a tremendous day, kiddos.

Daniel Pike