I want … a shrubbery.

A nice shrubbery, not too expensive. Not too big, not too small.

The reason?

Several weeks ago, the landscaping in front of Rodes-Harlin Hall was taken away. Innocent bushes were chopped to pieces in the university’s feeble efforts to improve campus safety, or something.

It was horrible. The sound of the chainsaws, the shovels, the wailing of 10s of shrubberies suddenly put to silence. I haven’t gone a single night without reliving that nightmare.

I pose but a few simple questions to those in charge of the massacre … why now? Why make the outside of our dorm look like it does now – ugly – and then do nothing to replace the lost greenery? On a campus that prides itself for its natural beauty, why make this change, of all the proposed changes made by the campus safety board?

Did you know that there are still several dark spots around the dorm and on campus that pose much greater threats to innocent people? It is my understanding that was the primary concern of those involved in the campus safety walk. You could have just added a few light poles and called it a day.

But no, you had to go and make it personal.

Those shrubs were like family. Granted, more like the elderly in-law type that moves in with you and your wife on their death bed, but still, family!

If they could have only just been trimmed a bit more, you could have waited till school was out and replaced them after we wouldn’t be here to witness the atrocity. It would be something like euthanasia, and I honestly wouldn’t mind turning a blind eye.

If the bushes posed a safety risk and were old and needed to be replaced, that’s fine, but for Pete’s sake, replace them already! It has been more than two weeks and the eyesore seems to be getting worse and worse.

Obviously I am dealing with a much higher intellect. Maybe I should take my appeal to a higher power.

Smokers.

They stand outside in front of the dorm with their tobacco sticks and puff away. What about the increased wind sheer they must now face because of their nicotine habit? Who is going to stand up for their basic human rights to have a safe and oft smoke-filled place to partake?

I am.

We’ve already ostracized them enough, haven’t we? First we tell them they can’t smoke in their rooms. They have to be outside. Now we are making them smoke in a place as ugly to look at as likely the inside of their lungs.

It’s just not right. Neither is making me walk past a muddy hole of cigarette butts every time I come to the dorm.

Fix the bushes, bring them back, I don’t care; just make my valley pretty again.

Lee Fisher is a sophomore print journalism major from Mayfield.

The opinions expressed in this commentary do not reflect those of the Herald, Western or its adminstration.