Streak #2

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Thoughts from Streak #2

One of the benefits of being ADD is breakouts — one single event can spawn a host of thoughts. The streak at Saturday’s game was the impetus for a stream ideas.

First came the roar. The football team only dreams of such enthusiasm. As I gazed at #2’s genitals festively flopping, I immediately became concerned about the reproductive health of field and track enthusiasts. Doesn’t that hurt?

Second, as I gazed at a man in blue chasing after those healthy buns, I heard a typical response: “I did NOT want to see that!” I then broke down some ideas behind that statement: A) the naked body is shameful, B) I am jealous, and C) I am a closeted bisexual male in bliss.

After musing about inhibitions and switch-hitters, I vicariously indulged in the experience. Run! I can’t believe I’m doing this! The wind! The cheers! Who is following me?? Run!!

Yes, #2 broke the law and dropped a few thousand jaws, but how many of us would have traded places, if sufficiently drunk? For the rest of #2’s life, he will remember that night, the cool wind, the madding crowd, and the verve of his dash.

If we are not green with envy, we should be thankful that “Big John” decided not to taste freedom.

Stephen Dickinson

Henderson, KY senior