PFT fire alarms helping swimmers

I am writing this letter of gratitude with the utmost sincerity on behalf of the eighth-floor swim girls at Pearce Ford Tower.

We would just like to say “thanks a million” to the Serial (Fire Alarm) Puller for all the valuable lessons you have taught us over the last few nights. They will be incredibly helpful next season.

We learned that the McDonald’s on Russellville Road does serve breakfast at 3 a.m., and that the No. 13 value meal is pretty good! Now we can stop there and get a bite to eat before our 5 a.m. August practices at Preston-Miller Pool. Yeah!

We also appreciate the leg workouts you’ve given us. We usually alternate between upper and lower body weight workouts on a four-day schedule. Maybe coach will cut it down to two now. Don’t want to burn those legs out!

And, hey, did you know it is actually possible to fall asleep in the water? If you turn over slow enough when suffering from sleep deprivation, like we’ve been, you can literally drift into quite a peaceful sleep.

I am addressing this portion of the letter to the “powers that be” at PFT.

You are probably trying to come up with a worthy punishment for the Serial Puller when he or she is caught.

The best solution is a very simple one. Just place a slip of paper in every PFT resident’s mailbox with the culprit’s name and room number on it.

We’re pretty sure the situation will work itself out.

Lisa Ross

freshman from Merrillville, Ind.