Pearce-Ford alarm puller needs a new hobby

Many of us have passed a fire alarm unit in an empty hallway, the little devil on our shoulders urging us to live dangerously. Pull, pull, pull, our dark side chants. You’ll get away with it.

But we suppress the urge to needlessly disrupt the lives of others, mainly because most of us boast thinking capacities that exceed that of an inbred rhinoceros.

Unfortunately for residents of Pearce-Ford Tower, the same can’t be said for Western’s newest brainless bandit(s), whose recent late-night fire alarm pulling represents a level of idiocy rarely visited by rational humans.

Should the knot head(s) be reading this editorial – which is unlikely, considering the frequent use of two- and three-syllable words – we have a message. It’s the final month of the semester, and your infantile behavior is ruining students’ ability to work on final papers, projects and exams, much less get a decent night’s sleep.

The legal system’s response to your crimes should be the least of your worries. Once the PFT residents learn your name(s), expect life to become nearly unlivable.

Perhaps you still have an opportunity be spared, moron(s). Just don’t pull any more alarms. In another week, all may not be forgiven, but it probably will be forgotten.

It’s time to show us you’re not too stupid to do something smart.

This editorial represents the majority opinion of the Herald’s 10-member board of student editors.