Dear Miss Red,
I am finding it difficult to form close friendships here at WKU. I know a lot of people, but am still looking for friends to spend my time with and to make memories with. Any advice on getting to know people beyond just being acquainted?
– Always the Acquaintance, Never the Friend
Dearest Acquaintance,
Trust me babe, I get it. When I first got to college, it was hard to find my people. I got stuck in the same acquaintance loop as you.
As lame as it sounds to say, it’s not going to be easy. Finding friends is nothing like it was in grade school, I tell you what. You’ve got to be okay with trying again and again, and failing again and again.
At the end of the day, not all people are meant to be more than acquaintances, and that’s okay.
However, when you find those people, you know. You get that gut feeling that yes, these are my people.
Once you find that, well, it’s time to buckle in. Because we gotta make an effort.
I often compare budding friendships to situationships because, honestly, it feels exactly the same to me. You’ve got to put in that extra bit of effort in the beginning to hopefully get the result of a good friendship.
If they invite you to do something, show up. Invite them to events the same. Text them ever so often, and try to start a conversation. If you have a class together, talk to them about things that are not class-related. Smile at them. Compliment their cool fits (if they have them).
Make an active effort to be a part of their life. You can’t be friends with someone if you never interact with them, duh.
But please take note that I am not suggesting being crazy. If you get a feeling that you may be doing a bit too much, back off for a few days. You want to be kind and friendly, but you don’t want to be overbearing, ‘kay?
Unfortunately, being kind and friendly simply doesn’t work for everyone. People are flat out rude these days, take it from me. You have to be okay with failing to build a friendship. It really sucks, but that’s an unfortunate reality that is going to happen at some point or another.
I genuinely wish you the best of luck. I know how it feels to be lonely in college (crazy right?) and it is actually the worst.
Just gotta keep trying. I believe in you, hon!
XOXO
Miss Red
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