Gather around the cauldron, kiddies! A dash of wolfsbane, one teaspoon of eye of newt, some tongue of bat — throw it all into our bubbling brew! We’ll make a concoction that will turn even the most conventional into dressers of the dark. Take a sip if you dare, or at least heed my Halloween advice.

With just a couple of weeks until the spookiest night of the year, All Hallows Eve is fast approaching. Prepare yourself for a ghoulishly good time with an unforgettable outfit. Take a trip up to the attic, dust off the cobwebs and hunt for a costume that will impress for years. Follow these simple steps, and you’ll be looking appealing — or appalling —in a snap!

Rule No. 1 of Halloween dressing: Listen to “Monster Mash.” Other appropriate Halloween music includes “The Addams Family” theme, “Werewolf Bar Mitzvah” and spooky moaning ghost recordings. This is critical for getting into the Halloween spirit.

Rule No. 2: Now that we’ve assembled an All Hallows Eve playlist, we can get down to the truly scary stuff: choosing a costume! Be macabre, maniacal or majestic. Steal a look from your favorite celebrity, a movie character from your youth or a TV show you love.

Kim Kardashian is great Halloween costume material; she fulfils not only your pop culture needs but also the archetypal devil or angel costume. (Decide at your own risk.) Feeling inspired by the things that go bump in the night? A classic vampire, witch or werewolf will never go out of style. Are you going with friends? Consider coordinating costumes! If you’re a tall glass of water with a surplus of short friends, give Snow White and the seven dwarves a shot!

Rule No. 3: Looking scary good doesn’t have to be frighteningly expensive! Thrift shops are your friend. Just make sure you don’t wait until the last minute to get your costume from Goodwill unless you’re planning on being a homeless person for Halloween.

Scavenge thrift stores, antique malls and even yard sales. You don’t have to spend a fortune at a pop-up Halloween store. All they want to do is steal your candy money, so don’t give in to that nonsense.

Rule No. 4: Whatever you decide on wearing for your trick-or-treat festivities, make sure you are comfortable. Create a costume you feel confident about and in! If all of your friends are channeling their inner va-va vixen — which is completely acceptable — but you don’t want to, you don’t have to! You can dress as a nun, for all I care; just do it with the spirit of Halloween in your heart.

Now go, my sweets — time for tricks and treats! All Hallows Eve is coming. Are you ready?