On Valentine’s Day, significant others show their love by spending insane amounts of dollars on gifts and romantic nights out.

I won’t sit here with a bitter and clich?-filled rant about how much Valentine’s Day is a waste of everyone’s time. Instead, I will provide an efficient blueprint to the wonderful lovebirds out there of how you should celebrate the holiday. Couples will thank me for my brilliant advice to make the special day better without spending many hours stressing out.

First, forget the flowers, the candy, a CD compilation of their favorite love songs and the cute little teddy bears that say “I Heart You.” On Saturday morning, go to Hollywood Video to rent yoga tapes. Lovebirds, you will save all that money and it will relax the mind and body.

After the cool relaxation, you’ll want to part for the afternoon. You don’t want to make Valentine’s Day stale because you lovebirds spent the whole day together. After all that bending and stretching from yoga, you’d be wanting to take a nap anyway.

After your soothing nap, it’s time for the second part of the sweet day. Usually Valentine’s Day means going to eat out at some romantic restaurant like Brickyard Cafe or Mariah’s.

Scratch that, too.

This year, couples should head to Buffalo Wild Wings. Nothing says “I love you” more than your significant other overlooking the fact that you have wing sauce all over your lips and that you’re using your tongue as a napkin.

The stomach is full and is ready to rest. That means it’s time for a movie.

Don’t settle for anything that stars Meg Ryan – no need for any lame, sappy romantic comedies. If you’re in the mood to think, rent “Magnolia.” If you want dark comedy, be smart and rent “The Royal Tenenbaums.” If you’re so high on the great time you’ve had with your dearie already, then rent a movie that will depress you, like “Requiem for a Dream.” Any non-sappy romantic comedy you choose will be the right choice.

It’s getting a little late and the movie’s over. You want to do more but you’ve run out of ideas. That’s why I’m here, folks.

The day is not complete until you look through your album collection to play some tunes. So set the mood by listening to power ballads from cheesy ’80s hair bands, right? Not this time, baby.

This time you want to mix up the music flavor by playing these three compact discs in this particular order: Soundgarden’s “Badmotorfinger,” Radiohead’s “Kid A,” and Outkast’s “Aquemini.” You and your babe will be in love together listening to gritty grunge music, spaced-out alternative rock and funk rap. It’s the perfect way to finalize your special night.

If you took my advice and took the simple route to show that plain love is still romantic, you’ll have the same loving feelings about each other all year. But if you do it the traditional expensive way, then it probably won’t be the same until Feb. 14, 2005. Until then, you’ll be trying to figure out how to top this Valentine’s Day.

Amber North is a sophomore print journalism major from Nashville.

This commentary does not reflect the views of the Herald, Western or its administration.