This week, let’s talk cologne. Or perfume. Whatever you call it.

Fellas, you could spray Armani’s Acqua Di Gio on about any of you and, wham, bam, just like that -?instant attraction.

I speak for myself, but that particular cologne is God’s gift to men. Put it on. Women will come. It’s the epitome of sexiness.

No promises it’ll get you anywhere with the ladies, but don’t be surprised if you get the looks.

Girls, I’m telling ya, stick with the lighter fragrances. Guys want to be knocked off their feet by your personality, not by the scent of something a 50-year-old socialite from West Palm Beach would wear. American Eagle makes a new one: Aura. It’s fresh and flirty. Check it out.

This year designers and clothing chains are begging you to show your tough side, gals. Shirts, purses, jackets and pants have multiple pockets. Army green, gray, maroon and brown are creeping out everywhere. Cargos aren’t a type of pants. They’re a way of life.

While I don’t completely agree with this lifestyle, I’m thrilled some genius designer for American Eagle made cargos for girls with satin ribbons as belts. Girlie tough. The right amount of pockets. Skirts are available too. I’m speechless.

In case ya’ll don’t know by now, go to the Gap. They’ll give you 10 bucks off a $50 or more purchase just for trying on a pair of jeans. You don’t even have to buy ’em.

That store is finally back. It strayed for awhile with terrible color schemes and clothes for third-grade teachers. But it blew me away this summer with bright colors and

amazing prices. They currently have great turtleneck sweaters for women and men. Stock up. It’s getting cooler outside.

Let’s get to the don’ts for the week. There are girls on campus sporting their tighty-whities hanging out of their low-ride pants. It’s sleazy. Find some pants that’ll cover your crack. I understand that sometimes undies slip a little when we sit down. Excusable, but I can’t imagine anyone aspiring to imitate Christina Aguilera’s style. Showing your thong is just that. Hello, Aguilera openly admits that she’s “dirrty.”

Boys and girls, one of my wiser friends used to wear a shirt that read, “Logos are for jars. You are not a jar.” That didn’t make sense when I was 16, drowning in a sea of classmates wearing Abercrombie T-shirts.

But now it seems like a philosophy straight from Thoreau. Logos are overdone. What’s their purpose? To tell everyone what you already know your tag says?

A little Polo symbol is OK. Anything small is. But LOOKATMEILOVETOMMY across your chest is old. GAP hoodies are the only exception to this rule. Classic.

My best advice for tonight? Put on a tee and go driving with the windows down. Turn on Coldplay. You have a test tomorrow. Relax now; study later. Works for me every time. Usually.

I’m outta here. I need a job. I’m broke and J. Crew isn’t currently accepting Big Red Dollars as a method of payment.

Amy’s probably begging store owners for a job right now. E-mail her if you’ve heard of anybody hiring at [email protected].