COLUMN: An open letter from George

Andrew Robinson

Dear Willie Taggart,

My name is George. George the monkey.

Yes, I’m the monkey you tried to lure off your back by bringing a banana to your Monday press conference.

What a gimmick it was.

I’ll be holding on tight Saturday while you play the mighty Blue Raiders. I have a feeling I’ll be on your back all through the offseason.

I was a bit worried after you got King Kong off your back with your first win, and I thought for sure I would be gone after the North Texas game.

But you guys slipped on a proverbial banana peel, so there I stayed.

I thought you might get rid of me the next week against Florida Atlantic, but then the Owls hit that field goal to win the game.

Apparently you didn’t hear me in the third quarter urging, “Go for two. Go for two.”

That decision was still being debated by those Debbie Downers in the Twitter-verse.

So now it comes down to Saturday. It’ll be your last chance. And the folks in your ticket office are doing everything they can to get people in to see me go flying off your back.

They still haven’t resorted to the old trick of buying a value meal at Wendy’s and getting a ticket for free.

The key to getting rid of me is quite simple, and you know what it is.

Bobby Rainey, Bobby Rainey and more Bobby Rainey.

Mix in some successful offensive drives and crucial forced turnovers from the defense, and I like your chances.

Don’t worry — plenty of other coaches have had me on their back. Roy Williams had me on his back while he was at Kansas. Former Chiefs coach Marty Schottenheimer had plenty of days with me on his back.

David Elson was fired with me on his back. Let me tell you: boxes are not easy to carry out of Houchens-Smith Stadium while also carrying a monkey.

So I wish you luck tomorrow, sir. You have done an admirable job this season.

And if you can’t get rid of me Saturday, the relief will be that much better next season when you finally get rid of me.