Thanks to our big lovable blob we call Big Red, Western might be getting $250 million thrown its way. This is a great opportunity for Western. I’m sure the university will find “good use” of the money, but I have my own ideas.

If Western gets this money, it can give back to the students, solve major problems it is currently facing and put some integrity back into Diddle Arena.

First, Western would not have to raise tuition next semester. Instead, it could give money from past increases back to students. There was that $200 tuition increase this semester that was implemented to improve academic quality. If the university gets this $250 million, it could use some of it to raise its academic quality and then give every student their $200 back.

I don’t know about the rest of the student body, but if Western gets the money, I want a $200 check in the mail by the Tuesday after Western deposits the check.

Even if they give back all that money, there’s still plenty to spend and plenty of work to be done.

The next best thing to a $200 check is a guaranteed parking space. That would save us all countless minutes of driving around in circles, not to mention all the gas money we could save.

Take some of the remaining funds and build a massive parking structure. I am not talking about a little $10 million, 824 parking space structure. I am talking about the Taj Mahal of parking structures. Splurge $30 million for a super structure that would have enough spots for every person living on campus. That will leave the other spaces for us commuters to park.

The money can then be used to pay for Diddle by undoing the billboard-like appearance on its playing floor. The legendary floor of Diddle should be used to promote the tradition of Western sports, not to sell groceries.

Finally, the last of the $250 million should be spent on the mascot itself, Big Red. If Western wins this lawsuit, how could we think about spending all of the money without paying tribute to the Big Red blob?

As a salute to our Big Red pal, I think a bronze statue in front of the arena would be an attractive way to honor its fame and its hard work that was able to provide this enormous wealth. As an added bonus, let’s give Big Red an Armani tuxedo, top hat and matching cane. Nothing would make me happier than to see Big Red enter the arena with lyrics to “I Work Hard for the Money” and looking like $250 million bucks!

But if all else fails, let’s just build a state-of-the-art escalator system from the bottom to the top of the Hill. This would make up for the geniuses who built a college on a small mountain. We could all cruise up and down the Hill in comfort.

Wes Watt is a junior news-editorial major from Bowling Green.

This commentary does not reflect the views of the Herald, Western or its administration.